Rick Hoyt was born a quadriplegic with cerebral palsy. His parents, Dick and Judy, were told he would be a vegetable for life and should be institutionalized. But his dad refused to believe it. Dick noticed Rick’s eyes followed him everywhere he went and was determined to find a way to communicate with him. He solicited help from Tufts University, where a skilled group of engineers built Rick an interactive computer. Rick controlled the cursor by touching a switch with the side of his head, finally able to communicate with those around him (www.teamhoyt.com).

Rick immediately relayed his love for sports and at 15 years old, asked his dad to participate in a five-mile benefit run for a classmate paralyzed in an accident. Although not a distance runner, Dick agreed to join in the run and push Rick in his wheelchair. That day changed their lives. After the run, Rick said, “Dad, when I’m running, it feels like I’m not handicapped.”

Dick was instantly inspired to offer Rick more opportunities for that feeling. He began training everyday with a bag of cement in Rick’s wheelchair while his son was at school. The two began participating in marathons, triathlons and other grueling athletic events. They have now completed more than 1,000 races together, and next year (2011), as Dick turns 70 years old, he hopes to push Rick at least one more time in the Boston Marathon. Rick knows he has an incredible dad whom he refers to as “The Father of the Century.”

Most dads won’t have the same opportunity Dick Hoyt had with his son. But every dad has the opportunity to show love and acceptance to his children, giving of his time to provide nurturing and guidance. Children need more than a maternal figure during their developmental years; they need a strong father figure who is willing to consistently be a part of their lives, influencing them toward healthy maturity through a variety of roles.
Children need a dad who is willing to make quality time for them. Baseball season is currently in full swing, and I love watching dads with their sons at the ball field together: playing catch, practicing batting or exchanging encouraging words. Little League athletics offers dads a great opportunity to be part of something their children enjoy while teaching sportsmanship, teamwork and respect for others in the process.

Children will benefit from a dad who provides consistent love and discipline. Discipline teaches children self-control and right from wrong, while helping them feel secure and cared for. Boys, in particular, need more guidance from fathers due to their inherent nature toward “out of bounds” behavior. Dr. James Dobson, author of “Bringing up Boys” says, “Boys are more likely to get off course when they are not guided and supervised carefully. ... When left to their own devices, they tend to drift toward the center divider or into the ditch, toward misbehavior or danger.”

Children need a dad with spiritual priorities, committed to guiding them by Biblical principles, including worship experience and prayer time.

Studies show that children who actively engage in a community of faith increase their odds toward a happier, healthier and longer life, while significantly reducing the likelihood of life problems and risky behavior. Personally, I am forever grateful for my father’s role in teaching me how to center my life on Biblical standards, including active church participation.

Children need a dad who reflects a healthy male role model. I’ve heard it said, “I’d rather see a sermon than hear one.” Children model their parent’s behavior and can learn healthy social skills and how to treat others by watching us. Children benefit from a father who regularly shows physical affection toward them and also treats his marriage partner with love and respect. Children learn relationship skills by watching their parents interact with one another.

Unfortunately, our generation sees too many children raised without fathers. The high rate of divorce, along with skewed career priorities and prevalent addiction rates, creates an absent father for many, emotionally and physically.

But without a father figure children cannot gain all they need to be successful adults. Study after study reflects the impact of a child’s well-being from the influence of his father.

From the beginning of time, God created man and woman to raise children together. It’s not always possible to be an active dad on a daily basis, but it is possible to stay involved in your child’s life in other ways. A dad’s role is a high calling that not everyone gets to experience. But for those who do, it’s a role to be honored and cherished, carried out with intentional purpose.

Happy Father’s Day!